7 Super Powers That Steven Seagal Actually Believes He Has | Cracked.com http://ping.fm/btWUo

This one goes out to me and all my friends with junk in the trunk! WE ARE DA BOMB! Don't let the jealous fools bring ya down. The 10 Most Butt References Per Second in Music History | Cracked.com http://ping.fm/1b9Lk

Am I the only one who can't stand the voice of that broad who does the "Special K" cereal ads? Now watch--she's one of my followers.

http://ping.fm/vF6gp Homeopathic pain relief drops for dogs and cats. Risk free trial.

When I get feeling this way it is best to get the hell out and walk though I don't much feel like doing a damn thing.

mental_floss Blog 31 Unbelievable High School Mascots http://ping.fm/9Iwnm

mental_floss Blog 11 Things Wal-Mart Has Banned http://ping.fm/8jk7O

Where the hell did the "retweet" option go?

Knighthood for Patrick Stewart? Queen says make it so - CNN.com http://ping.fm/QiUxB

http://ping.fm/AEksQ In the market for books? Buy from Better World Books. Free shipping in U.S. Great prices.

Matthew McCarthy Dead: High School Hockey Player Dies After Collapse

It's highly likely that his death was due to an undiscovered heart problem. Cardiomyopathy kills people suddenly and often at a very young age. A brain aneurysm is another possibility. These often go undetected until its too late and can happen at any age. My heart goes out to this young man's family.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Just need to whine about having been stupid enough to eat the wrong thing and now feel like ten tons of crap in a five pound sack.

Jerry Fartsmell's Top Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

Top 17 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

17. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

16. Gay culture is a new fad created by the liberal media to undermine long-standing traditions. We know this is true because gay sex did not exist in ancient Greece and Rome.

15. There are plenty of straight families looking to adopt, and every unwanted child already has a loving family. This is why foster care does not exist.

14. Conservatives know best how to create strong families. That is why it is not true that Texas and Mississippi have the highest teen birthrates, and Massachusetts, Vermont, and New Hampshire have the lowest. This is a myth spread by the liberal media.

13. Marriage is a religious institution, defined by churches. This is why atheists do not marry. Christians also never get a divorce.

12. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why our society has no single parents.

11. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

10. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

9. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

8. Gay marriage should be decided by the people and their elected representatives, not the courts. The framers checked the courts, which represent mainstream public opinion, with legislatures created to protect the rights of minorities from the tyranny of the majority. Interference by courts in this matter is inappropriate, just as it has been every time the courts have tried to hold back legislatures pushing for civil rights.

7. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because "separate but equal" institutions are a good way to satisfy the demands of uppity minority groups.

5. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

4. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

3. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

2. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

1. METEORS and VOLCANOES.

Happy Holidays

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Cameron Cardow - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

Another Side to the Health Care Reform Bill

No, not blithering stupidity about death panels. Just some thoughts on why the bill as it currently stands needs some tweaking. This article offers some sensible thoughts. As well, these are some of mine. And you know I'm always a bastion of good sense!

My mother, a retired nurse, told me about what she saw as some huge flaws in the current plan, namely that there are currently not enough properly trained health care professionals to fill the needs that would be created by the current plan. I think the plan as currently envisioned needs revising, but health care form needs to be pursued for certain. Time to make training health care professionals a big priority. I know for a fact that a lot of community colleges (a big source for training nurses) are underfunded and there tend to be big waiting lists for nursing programs because there aren't enough instructors. The schools can't pay enough to recruit the instructors.

Bee-sides, thar's them thar death panels that we-un's gotta fear!
(only kidding about the last part.)

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Paging Dr. Asshole

A woman went for an eye exam, and the optometrist ripped on her for being overweight, pregnant, and unemployed. Hellooooo! It's an EYE exam, Jackass! He may lose his license for his rude behavior. The article is here. This was my response.

It is not the doctor's right to give the patient a ration of s**t for being pregnant and  unemployed and it is downright unprofessional for a doctor to ridicule or demean a patient. Even if the patient were overweight, pregnancy is not a time to be attempting weight loss. If he had said in a polite, professional manner that it is important for her to keep her diabetes controlled as uncontrolled diabetes can lead to vision loss, and that weight loss following the pregnancy could help keep her diabetes under control, he would have been behaving as a concerned health care specialist instead of a judgmental jerk.

The last paragraph was in response to this asshole comment:

Them: What is wrong with speaking the truth? If she is unemployed with no insurance, she has no business being pregnant. Probably on welfare and food stamps too. I'm tired of footing the bill for these lazy people while they have more kids to get more welfare.

Me: Speaking of judgmental jerks, Mishouse, perhaps she became pregnant before becoming unemployed. Losing her job would mean losing insurance. You don't know the whole story.

In other sad news, the voice and character actress Brittany Murphy was found dead. The exact circumstances of her death have not yet been disclosed. She was 32 years old. Of course there was an asshole who needed to be responded to.

 carleton1968 says
"CNN : Celeb bites big one, Losers feel need to weigh in"

Cheesemeister replies:
Losers may feel the need to "weigh in." Bigger loser feels need to show how cool s/he is by criticizing the "losers."

A Noteworthy Reporter

The late Yuri Zarakhovich

The Crappy Times is drooling to get their hands on this crack reporter, because most of their reporters write like they're smoking crack. But Yuri Zarakhovich was a class act. This tough Russian-born reporter passed away on November 17, 2009 at the age of 63 from pancreatic cancer. The Time article below illustrates why he is worth saluting.

Yuri Zarakhovich's life was full of skulduggery, danger and crisis. He did, after all, report for TIME as the Soviet empire decayed, fell and tried to resurrect itself as the new Russia. It was two decades of journalistic drama on one of history's biggest stages, with Zarakhovich dodging bullets and traveling from one breakaway republic to another, meeting larger-than-life characters like Vladimir Putin, whom he interviewed along with TIME's editors for our 2007 Person of the Year issue. Zarakhovich was as big a personality as the Russia he loathed and loved. His stories and jokes were like conspiracies, full of asides that were whole tales. If you didn't get the punch line, you laughed anyway because Yuri's laugh was loud and infectious. Zarakhovich, who died Nov. 17 at 63, was living in retirement in Florida and expecting his first grandchild when he was given a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer about a month ago. His daughter had the baby--a boy--the day before Zarakhovich died. She checked out of the hospital early and got the child to Yuri, who held the infant for a few hours before passing away. He named the boy Theodore.

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1940686,00.html#ixzz0a2aZATOM

Shellie Ross Twitter Uproar: Mom's Tweets After Son Drowns Spark UPROAR

Were this horrible event to happen to me I would be far too upset to "tweet," but I do think its rude of someone to "tweet" that she's a "bad mom" at a time like this. Seems that people are becoming far more rude in the Internet age. At least that's the opinion of this jaded old phart.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Should A Book Pass The "Dead Tree" Test?

I tend to miss details when scrolling a screen. I would like to see textbooks available in a PDF version, but with a book that I like and want to keep and re-read, I want it in a print version.

I'm one of those scummy self-published authors, and I'm not saying that my writing is oh so wonderful and deserves to be preserved for posterity, but I do think that even my scummy, self-published self deserves the opportunity to see their hard work in print. Those who read it can decide if it is worth the paper it is printed on. By the way, there is also be an e-book version. So people can pick their poison, both of which seem to be destructive to the environment in one way or another.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

An Open Letter to President Obama: From Hill 57 to the White House

Sadly, the Obama administration seems to have fallen short in the eyes of a lot of people who believed in the message of change. Many American Indians still live in shocking poverty. More than a hundred years after being forced onto reservations, there has been no retribution for the people to whom this country originally belonged. The living conditions Melinda describes are appalling.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Lindsay Lohan's Muse PHOTOS: Threesomes, All Fours, Butt And A Breast (NSFW PICTURES)

"Someone" *cough*Lin­dsayLohan*­cough* is trying waaaay too hard.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Massive Star Explosion: Supernova SN2007bi Visible Two Years Later

What can I say but COOL! I am fascinated by such phenomena, and that picture is great!
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

10,000 Albinos In Hiding After Killings In East Africa

This is sick and twisted. This is the sort of thing where the U.N. ought to be sending troops and insisting that these human rights abuses cease immediately. The more "civilized," developed nations might consider doing the same. Of course there is no oil involved, only human lives, so things are bound to move more slowly.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Oh My God;: What Is God?

If all Christians expressed themselves the way Rev. Desiderio does, I would not have so many misgivings about Christianity as a whole. He does not get into the whole "and if you don't believe like I believe, then pack your bags for hell" schpiel that troubles me about a lot of Christians. It always confounded me how some people can base a religion on a wonderfully enlightened and compassionate individual and then turn it into hateful diatribe, using it as an excuse to ostracize and condemn others. I for one cannot come to terms with the idea that a loving creator would give life to beings but then condemn the very same beings to eternal torment should these beings fail to acknowledge its presence. I would want nothing to do with such a terribly egotistical God. That would be like flushing your pet fish down the toilet because it fails to acknowledge you as the Supreme Feeder. If there is indeed a God, I do not believe that it needs its ego stroked. I believe it would be far above such human fallacies.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Courtney Love Kisses DJ Qualls, Goes To Strip Club

File this news under the "and we care because...­?" tab.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Lend Bruce a Hand

We've all seen the obnoxious "Evony" advertisement banners featuring busty models in lingerie. I always wondered what busty models in lingerie had to do with a game that was supposedly about medieval times, dungeons, dragons, and all that sort of thing, but hey, what do I know?

A games marketing expert from the U.K. named Bruce Everiss has identified the browser game as being a potential gold farm and is committed to telling the truth even though the makers of the game are threatening to sue him for doing so. If you have a bit to spare, perhaps you might think of donating to Bruce's legal defense fund. Personally, I applaud him for sticking to his guns.

Time to Tell Sarah Palin She's Full of Crap

It's time to tell former Alaska governor Sarah Palin she's full of crap with her "Death Panel" lies. And Credo Action has created a petition to allow you to do just that. Just follow the link to sign the petition. And if you have a Twitter account, you can tweet this message to let others know how they too can tell Palin she's full of crap. You can also send it via Plurk, or use it as your Facebook or Myspace status, post it on Utterli, or anywhere else you see fit.

Tired of Sarah Palin's "death panel" lies? Send a pile of crap in her honor. http://SarahsFullOfCrap.com #ICanSeeBullCrapFromMyHouse

Millions of marginalized Americans stand to lose out on potential changes that would allow them access to health care should people believe the lies of Sarah Palin and other hard-line conservatives. If Sarah Palin had issues with certain parts of the proposed reform and was sensibly working to change those, I would not have these issues with her. But as it stands, she is indeed full of crap and it's time that she is told to cease her ridiculous propaganda once and for all.

I am not sure when the division between the Democratic and Republican parties became such that their attempts to destroy one another outshadowed all positive work, or when moderate Republicans became an endangered species, but my guess would be the Reagan era. It's a shame when the entire Republican party seems to now consist primarily of religious right reactionaries like Palin. "We The People" are the ones who will suffer if they and their ideals are allowed to flourish.

The Cheesemeister is Back!

HowManyOfMe.com

There are people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Wow! Only four people in the U.S. have my real name. Now, granted, I'm a little bit paranoid, but I think this is a darn good reason to blog using a pseudonym. People actually do get fired for their opinions. Those I come to trust get to know my real name and my other pen name(s) and they are soooo privileged.

For those who may not remember me, I am the Cheesemeister, aka the Snarkmeister. I'm opinionated. I'm confusicated. And I really want to be overrated. I don't really like conflict, but my opinions are my opinions. If you want to sway me, present a polite argument. I may or may not be swayed, but I will like you and welcome your return anytime. If you are an asshole, I won't bother with you. I'll rip shit on you once and then ignore you thereafter.

I cuss. I fuss. And sometimes I'll eventually trust. But you have to give me a good reason.

Politics makes me laugh and Sarah Palin is a real riot. I guarantee I'll be ripping shit on her. Hypocrites and Fundies (same thing) will also be targets of ridicule. I am confounded as to why most celebrities are celebrities, and they are not immune from being exposed for the self-absorbed asses they are.

I do have another blog where I satirize the many stupid things in our known world as well as the never-boring Netherworld. It is not listed in my blog roll because I want to be able to do what I like without catching flack from closed minds. It can be pretty controversial. If I decide I like you and you want the URL, let me know, and I'll give it to ya!

I am trying to come up with enough material to write a book as Cie Cheesemeister. Because I want to get paid for my writing, and being an unknown author writing about controversial topics is incredibly lucrative and satisfying. Just ask Lily Strange.

It's time for the Cheese to come out of the rind and return to the world of blogging. The Cheesemeister is back!