"Ugly" Dolls and Narrow Views

In a rather judgmental post about the "ugliness" of the "Reborn" baby dolls, the author states:

" I can’t imagine cuddling what looks like a corpse to heal from the loss of a real baby"

Wow--a little compassion, maybe. Not everyone thinks/feels the way you do. The devastation that someone who has lost a baby feels is beyond comprehension. I feared that I would lose my son when he was first born because of certain complications. Had that happened I don't know what would have become of me. I have had something of a traumatic past and I have certain psychological issues, and although I do recognize and live in material reality, during certain very traumatic times in my life those boundaries have become blurred. I remember on one occasion I lost a very beloved kitten and I found a plush kitten toy that looked like him to remember him by.

I am glad that your experiences in life lead you to have such coldly "sane" views on things. Not everyone is wired that way.

Also, these dolls don't look "ugly" to me, though I would not pay $1000 for them. Perhaps that is the purpose of the dolls--to challenge our narrow concepts of beauty. I once babysat for a baby whom everyone thought was ugly. I didn't see him as ugly. I saw him as a baby.

This one looks as if she might have Down syndrome. Wow--imagine being proud of your baby in spite of her handicap, or wanting to remember the little one who didn't survive, who happened to have Down syndrome. Unheard of!

I think it's nice to see dolls that don't look like they came from a mold. Though it would be good if they were a tad more affordable!

One commenter said these dolls would be good to use as babies in movies (not a rude "horror movie" comment) and I agree! I think they lend realism. Personally if I had money I think I would add one to my collection.

My son looked rather like an adorable little gnome when he was born. He was not a stereotype pretty baby but he was a beautiful baby. He would probably be embarrassed if I did but one day I would like to have a baby doll in the likeness of him when he was first born. He would also be embarrassed about the fact that he will always be my baby, even when he has achieved his goal of becoming a pharmacist and/or medical doctor!

You're Just Choosing To be Fat

Ah, that tired old song. Joannadeadwinter covered the topic very well in her post at the fabulous Fierce, Freethinking Fatties blog. She inspired the rant which follows below:

It's the same thing as those jerks who go on about how gays "choose to be gay" and they could just as well "choose to be heterosexual." Um...no. We are born with our sexual orientation hard-wired, and we are also born with certain metabolic tendencies programmed into our DNA. Some people are predispositioned to gain weight, while some could eat an entire cow slathered in cheese sauce and topped with bacon and won't gain an ounce. There isn't a right or wrong. It just is what is.
Now, people can make choices to eat healthy foods as opposed to dining at McDonald's for three meals a day, and many fat people DO make the choice to eat healthy foods. Fat people also (are you ready for it?) oftentimes exercise. There are unhealthy fat people who sit on the couch all day watching television, chowing down on a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, and chasing it with a liter of Mountain Dew. News flash--they are probably depressed as hell. And it doesn't help to have a-holes saying vicious things to them. Hate never helped anyone get better.
There are also healthy hefty folk who are happy, eat a balanced diet, and work out.
I try to fall into the second category.
I was not heavy as a teenager, but I've always been big-boned. I literally cried when I could no longer fit into a size 9 boy's jeans. I thought of myself as "fat" at a size 6. I was actually glad when I had oral surgery and could only eat pureed food because I shrunk down to 108 pounds. I also felt like ten tons of crap in a five pound sack. And--get this--I was aiming to get down to 100 pounds.
These days I weigh 275 pounds. Would I like to lose weight? Yes. But why shouldn't I be able to accept myself as I am in the meantime? How dare anyone say hateful things about me for my size? These jerks don't even know me!
By the way, I'm pretty sure none of these heavy haters look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie their own damn selves.

What I Look Like Isn't Who I Am

This was my response to a post at Day of the Woman regarding standards for female beauty.

I actually like to wear a little makeup and look as nice as is possible for a fat 45 year old broad, but it rarely happens due to lack of money combined with exhaustion leading to a tendency to inertia whenever I don't have to work. I have, however, always hated being defined by my appearance. Many an eon ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth I was applying for an administrative assistant position and happened to glance at what the interviewer was writing. It wasn't about my ability to type 75 WPM nor my stellar spelling skill. Nope, I was summed up in three words: "Cute little blonde."
I was not flattered, I was incensed.
Also, and I know I'm unusual in this, I do not like people commenting on any weight loss that may happen for me should I be able to stick to a diet or what have you. To me, this is a personal issue. It has nothing to do with my worth as a person. Compliment my cool outfit, should I be wearing one, or give me a generic "you look nice today." When someone says "you've lost weight--you look great!" I feel like saying "yeah, chemotherapy has that effect," because their comment implies "you looked like ten pounds of shit in a five pound sack before." I'm still the same person no matter what I weigh. That shouldn't enter into anything.
You know you've done a good post when it inspires a mini-post on my part--so, well done, BJC!

Obsession with Youth is Sad

TV anchorman Anderson Cooper has been offered a million dollars to test a supplement that would supposedly reverse his prematurely gray hair.

Our youth-obsessed culture is ridiculous. I would much rather see a person who has aged naturally than the Botoxed manikins of Hollywood. While it's up to the individual if they want to color their hair, and while there's nothing wrong with taking this pill as long as there are no negative side effects, there is also nothing wrong with gray hair. In fact, I used to dye my hair because I disliked the natural color, but once it became mostly gray, I quit dyeing it. I'm 45 and my hair is mostly gray. It causes some young restaurant hostesses to present me with the senior menu because everyone believes that gray=old, regardless of my relatively line-free face, but I don't care. I actually feel much freer with my gray hair and, in fact, I think that it looks better. Plus, my hair is much healthier for the fact that I'm not dyeing it any more.

True Blood Swings Both Ways

I appreciate that True Blood doesn't pander to the "female bisexuality is hot, male bisexuality is gross" double standard. It's all okay.

I've known more than one person--women included--who will be very derogatory when speaking of gay men but say that it's okay for women to make out with other women. I call them on it. Why is it okay for women but not for men? That's ridiculous!

I'm straight and have no desire to make out with a woman, but a bisexual or lesbian woman isn't "gross" in my eyes. That's just how they roll. I don't understand why anyone's sexuality is a big deal, so long as they aren't molesting children or animals.

I even saw a post from someone on the fan page for True Blood's openly gay character Lafayette Reynolds saying that they didn't want to see Lafayette making out with another guy. Really? I think you'll be disappointed then. The character is gay. G-A-Y. He likes other guys. 

Seriously...sometimes people just make me scratch my head.

Lafayette is my very favorite character on True Blood, which is why I named this cute little guy after him. One of my rescue kittehs.

Take Back the Fat

A response to a post at Fierce, Freethinking Fatties about reclaiming the word "fat."

Just like gay people reclaiming the word "queer."  I say, yes!

I don't mind being called fat, as long as it's said in a factual manner rather than in a sneering way. I'm fat, I'm middle-aged, I'm medium height, I have long hair. All of these things are simple facts. None of them is "good" or "bad."

I do despise the word "obese." It's such an awful word. It implies "unhealthy." I am a healthy fat person. I have fibromyalgia so I do have to choose my workouts a little more carefully lest I feel like I've been run over by a truck for a week, but I do my own aqua aerobic workouts in the therapy pool at work, and I walk a LOT on my job. I do not have type II diabetes, high blood pressure, or heart disease. And in my line of work (caring for the elderly) I notice that these diseases occur equally as often in slender or average weight individuals. Ergo, they are primarily AGE RELATED diseases, in my opinion.

Larger people are more prone to arthritis in the lower extremities. Very slender people are more prone to problems with osteoporosis. Everyone has certain issues. But it should not be automatically assumed that a large person is unhealthy or that he or she doesn't exercise.

Dumb Question of the Year: Is Anybody Bipolar?

Huffington post user "Lamirabelle" made this brilliant statement:

Everybody is bipolar these days. The American association of psychiatry did a swell job when they discovered or made up (depending on the point of view) this disease. All I know, it makes gooood money.
Anybody bipolar? Come on! 

And the Cheese raved:

Yes, Cookie, I am. It is not a "made up diagnosis." It is a very real disease. Mine was not discovered until I was 38 years old, and I went through years of hating myself because I would come out of a disabling depression that had caused me to be nearly non-functional and think that I was okay, only to spiral down into the depression again. People with bipolar disorder, especially type II bipolar disorder such as I have, run the danger of committing suicide at some point because of the horrific depressions we suffer from. We are not "crazy," but our brains magnify whatever mood we have. Bipolar disorder IS A VERY REAL MOOD DISORDER. And if it made good money I'd be one rich bipolar old bat right now. Instead, I am marginalized and feeling suicidal much of the time because I don't think I'll ever get out of my financial hell hole that having to live with this disease is part and parcel of putting me into. Sooooo nice that you are perfect and have no problems, Lamirabelle. Some of us are not so lucky.

Read the Article at HuffingtonPost