My Alter Ego: Emmett Honeycutt

On the outside I may be a frumpy, unattractive, middle-aged straight female curmudgeon, but Honey, this is my alter-ego!

Man, my lower back hurts. I am still waiting for someone to invent a pill to turn women into dudes during that certain unfortunate week.

I'd want to change back again but rather than endure a visit by my Aunt Flo, I would turn into a guy for a week--a wonderful, flamboyant gay guy, which is my internal alter-ego anyway. On the outside I may be a frumpy middle-aged straight woman, but Honey, my animus is pure Emmett Honeycutt!

Dear Friends

If I still have any.

I sent some of you a rather desperate email yesterday. I now feel desperately ashamed for doing so. I want you all to know that I am NOT suicidal. I have NOT been doing any acts of self-injury. I am depressed right now, but there is a shit ton of stuff going on in my life, plus (sorry dudes) Aunt Flo is about to arrive and that always turns me into a raging bitch or a clingy cry baby. 

A change of meds has been suggested. I appreciate the concern but here is the thing about meds. I cannot tolerate the majority of pharmaceutical medications no matter what they are for. I have bad reactions to them. Antidepressants in specific make me psychotic. Depressed is one thing. Psychotic is another. As I am not normally psychotic, it is not a condition I am used to and I assure you, it is not one I enjoy. So please, though we are all trained to think "antidepressant," they don't work for me the way they are supposed to.

Therapy has also been suggested. I would consider this except that I literally cannot afford it. And I've really never had any luck with it.

As to anything else, I was lonely. Only this and nothing more. There is no need to read anything else into it. And I'm fucking sorry I reached out like that. So, let's all forget about it and go on about our lives, shall we?

Sincerely,

The Cheesy One