Monday, June 28, 2010

Dear Friends

If I still have any.
I sent some of you a rather desperate email yesterday. I now feel desperately ashamed for doing so. I want you all to know that I am NOT suicidal. I have NOT been doing any acts of self-injury. I am depressed right now, but there is a shit ton of stuff going on in my life, plus (sorry dudes) Aunt Flo is about to arrive and that always turns me into a raging bitch or a clingy cry baby. 
A change of meds has been suggested. I appreciate the concern but here is the thing about meds. I cannot tolerate the majority of pharmaceutical medications no matter what they are for. I have bad reactions to them. Antidepressants in specific make me psychotic. Depressed is one thing. Psychotic is another. As I am not normally psychotic, it is not a condition I am used to and I assure you, it is not one I enjoy. So please, though we are all trained to think "antidepressant," they don't work for me the way they are supposed to.
Therapy has also been suggested. I would consider this except that I literally cannot afford it. And I've really never had any luck with it.
As to anything else, I was lonely. Only this and nothing more. There is no need to read anything else into it. And I'm fucking sorry I reached out like that. So, let's all forget about it and go on about our lives, shall we?
The Cheesy One